Monday, January 4, 2010

Being grown-up isn't half as fun as growing up

...Never were truer words spoken. Being "grown-up" is lame. I go to work, clean the house, make dinner, do the dishes, watch TV, shower, and sleep. My life story matches that of a 70 year-old-woman. How exciting. I'm 24 years old, and I have no excitement in my life.
B's "Ode to me" made me realize just how mundane my life has become. (and for future references I'm not sure I should be referred to as "P".) Though humorous, it lacks a certain sense of character and charisma that i (still) demonstrate although my life would suggest otherwise. So, henceforth, I have decided to be called "Emma" or "E". Yes, for those who recognize the name, it is from a Jane Austen novel. I have chosen this name because it demonstrates the point of life I feel I am in. A beautiful, well-off daughter whose parent spoil her (I am lucky enough to have both of my parents though), who is utterly convinced she doesn't need a companion because she has her friends and family, but love finds her anyway...and she discovers it isn't half bad.
Ahh Love the Jane Austen. I feel this new identity will serve me well because sadly the days of Paris are well behind me. While they were fun, and they shall be remembered fondly, (and perhaps occasionally re-lived), they are a mere glimpse of part of my "growing up" days.
I know that I am not totally "grown up" yet. I cannot say I have secured myself financially yet. But I'm close. With my parents only paying my car and life insurance... no longer sending me any money, but helping out in tough spots (like when the Blue Lighting gets busted up lol) I'd say I'm 80% there. And to me, that is quite good. I think it's a good accomplishment for a 24 year-old who went to college. Now, if I'd had all this time to work full-time, or went to a trade school, I'd be "financially secure" right now. But, in the long run, I probably wouldn't have as nice as a life. Nice meaning comfortable, buy basically what I want life. I'd make enough to get by, but I wouldn't have a good income or an amazing retirement fund.
Along with being grown-up, comes the responsibility of acting grown-up. I had to demonstrate sheer patience this Christmas Season. Actually, it was on the 27th. I went to my boyfriend's parents house to exchange gifts...and I got a scarf and two pot holders. For real. Tossed into a bag like I am some second-class citizen. Now, I know that it is the gift that counts. But honestly, way to make me feel like I'm not wanted. Then, my boyfriend opens 4 or 5 gifts and an envelope with a $1,000 check inside. Yeah, that's right. Those 3 zeros are correct. It was absolute bullshit. Especially considering my parents bought my boyfriend over $100 worth of stuff. It really hurt my feelings. I mean they (bf's parents) hardly ever bother with us. My parents live 2 hours away and they have been at our apartment as much as my bf's parents have. Yet...they go to his sister's house every day to walk her dog, or take her out to eat, and they make sure her house is in tip-top shape. They (to my knowledge) have never asked us once if we needed anything or could use anything, but they decorate her whole house! Everything in there but a couch and TV belonged to her parents practically. They didn't give us one lousy spoon. It makes me so mad. But, then when something is wrong, the first person they call is my bf. His sister wants him to fix her furnace. I would say "fuck you" right to her face. Why doesn't she get her dad to do it? Ugh. Users. I don't understand why my bf would even want to be around them. They don't treat him like their child at all. He is a friend that helps them out. I've never seen them do anything for him they weren't asked to help with. I don't understand their relationship at all. I don't even feel like a part of their family. And I don't know how I would because their son isn't even a real part of it. It's just stupid. I don't know what their problem is. Maybe they don't like it because they think I play too big of a part in my bf's life. But, isn't that part of growing up? Newsflash: Your children move on. They move away, and they create a family of their own. Get over it. That doesn't mean you treat the child and his/her significant other like crap.
I don't what to do. I promised myself I would never marry into a family that I didn't like my in-laws. I just want us to be a big extended family. I want us all to get along. I do my part. I send cards on holidays (and don't get one back), buy gifts (and get shitty ones back), act nice (to be basically ignored), treat my bf good: cook for him, help clean (only to be down-graded because I don't have a full-time job. EXCUSE ME FOR GOING TO COLLEGE).
It's just stupid. These people have no right to judge me. I would never dream of letting my parents say anything or do anything close to that to my boyfriend. I would tell them to their faces to shut up. The same courtesy isn't extended to me. Even when his sister mouths off no one says anything because it would "create a rift" and then "no one would like me (me meaning myself not my bf)"....basically what my bf told me why he couldn't tell his sister back for me. So, some little snot-nosed brat (I'll disregard what I really want to say) gets to say whatever she likes because everyone will hate me if i make my bf say something to her. What a screwed up concept. That girl needs slapped across the face like 20,000 times. Ugh. short, I need help. I need advice. I need MY BESTEST!!! S.O.S

♥ E

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