Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Wasted Day

So today, I have yet to accomplish anything even remotely considered productive. I haven't gotten dressed, or really done anything (except walk back and forth looking at things that need to be done). I haven't even watched TV or anything. I have -- been on the computer most of the day. Looking at ********** *****. But, I can't find anything, and it just makes me angry. There are literally small piles of messes everywhere. Dirty dishes. Garbage. Pop cans. Beer bottles. Not like disgustingly dirty, but cluttered. It needs cleaned, but I can't find the motivation to do so. I'm not exactly sure where the time goes, but it seems to go really fast. So fast, that I have yet to find time to re-paint my nails (which I have been trying to do for like the past 3 days).
I'm excited for classes. I'm going to take this Philosophy class on Love. I think it will be interesting.
Ugh. I feel so blah today. I need something new and exciting. An ideas?

♥ Paris

Monday, July 27, 2009

"Living on Dreams and Spaghetti-Os"

AW! I like that song too! It's sooo true. I wonder almost everyday where I'll be in like 3-5 years. But, I suppose it's better to live in the present because if you spend your whole life wondering over the future, it'll be gone before you know it, and you'll wish you'd have cherished each day that you had. So -- here's to the past, present, and future.

Omg. I remember living in the dorms. Sucky! I mean, it was nice being with Cami, but seriously, it was comparable to a jail cell. You left to eat, go to class/the library, sit outside, or to the rec center/sports practice. Sounds like prison time. And I could never get the temp. right. It was either too hot or too cold. So... to escape the dorm -- my options consisted of: (1) No escape during Freshmen year -- walked everywhere I went. (boo!) (2)The Apartments during my sophmore year. EWW! I've never cleaned so much in my life. Only to have it trashed like not even a day later. But, I had alone time. And Corey was my neighbor. (3) Andy's Apt.  w/ Clayton. I loved it. Clayton was hardly ever there, it was always clean, and cute. But, it was a half an hour drive. Major gas money.

Then onto the Senior Apartments. They were nice, but sharing a two-bedroom apartment with 4 people is not all it's cracked up to be. Constantly people over, noise, if you didn't feel like being social you had to be anyway. It was very pretty, and I loved the girls, (Brittany, Dena, Megan)don't get me wrong. I just prefer alone study time, and it couldn't be done. My only escape then -- Andy's. So...more gas money gone. Hah.

Next, I basically lived at Andy's. I had student teaching like 5 minutes from his place, so it worked out well. That was nice. I liked being with him more. My parents didn't really care for it too much. And I guess I can understand why. I girl living with a guy doesn't exactly get the best reputation. I wouldn't want my daughter living with some strange guy. It would be scary. Especially because I'm kinda far away. They couldn't get to me if anything happened. But, a few people knew where I was. It's okay.

After that, Andy (and I unofficially) lived with Matt, Ian, and sometimes Erin. Big no-no with the parents. Hah. But, It was usually (80% of the time) just Andy, Matt, Erin (Matt's gf) and I. So, it didn't look that bad at all. At the time, I didn't really enjoy the house. While I love animals, I don't really care for dogs in the house. Mostly because of allergies. So, I was stuffed up a lot and spent most of the time in Andy's room because the animals weren't there. I think the best thing that came out of that was that I was able to spend more time with Erin. We got a lot closer, and I'm glad. I enjoy hanging out with her, and she's a good friend.

Next, I officially became part of the apartment. And we moved back to where Clayton and Andy had lived originally (only no Clayton ever this time). Honestly, this was kinda scary but very exciting. I'd never lived with anyone in an apartment before. And my parents came to help decorate and such (although they weren't very thrilled with the idea). And after that, we moved upstairs --- and that's where I am now.

So, I guess, truth be told, I haven't been quite "spoiled" for about 4 years now. After I left for college, my parents sent me money here and there. But, no where near what I was used to. I guess, every year, it gets less and less. Like this year, I get gas money when I travel home, they pay for my insurance on my car, take of car stuff (tires, oil change, etc.) and my life insurance. And that's about it unless it's a holiday. No more random shopping trips, or salon visits, or tanning sessions, or spending money. Only essentials. And the credit card -- only for emergencies!! Once in awhile, I can get away with a $50 purchase.

This is where the "here and now" becomes difficult.....
I know if I lived with my parents, I'd get a lot more stuff than I do. Hands down. But, is it really worth it? It's nice. But I don't think it's going to make me any better in the long run. But, it's really hard to get used to not having it. Especially now. At school I had breaks, and summer vacation, but now it's like my own seperate life. And while it's not bad, I still miss the way things were. Okay -- this is going to sound really childish but whatever I don't care . . . . . At home, I don't have to do anything I really don't want to do. Yeah, I have to go to work, but I get to go out to eat, or take breaks and talk to my mom, or do something fun. I have to clean, but someone's always helping me. I know that anything (within reason) I suggest we'll do. On the other hand, I'm tied down at home. There's really no one to hang out with, and I couldn't really get away on the weekends if someone wanted to do something. I love ma mere, but I need away time too!

Living here, I have all the away time I could ever want. But, for the most part, I have no tanning, no salon visits, no out-to-eat lunch everyday, no one to help me clean, and I have to "suck-it-up" and do stuff I'd rather not do sometimes. But, I have more people to hang out with here, and Andy's here. That's the biggest reason. With him is where my heart lies. I've always been a believer of following your heart. It's the Hopeless Romantic in me.

I just -- I don't know. I'm out of the life I'm accustomed to. And I know it has to happen to everyone. It should happen to everyone. It's a character building experience. And, I don't mean to sound ungrateful for what I have now. And I'm not blaming anyone or saying my life sucks in any way at all. Please don't misunderstand me. It's just a lifestyle change for me. I'm sure my bestest understands it, and maybe she can explain better than I.

Okay -- moving on. Since this blog has mostly been about my housing arrangments thus far. I'd like to dream of my future house if you'll allow me.

I want this to be a starter home. Something like this. A small victorian cottage. It's cute, and rentable later, so there's money to be made on it after finishing the payments.

And a backyard that's purely a garden/patio like this:
It's cute. Who wouldn't want to live there.

Of course, with a family it's kinda small, so I'm going to have to move later on. Maybe into something like this:This is a gorgeous pink-brick two story house. Looks like about the size of my parents. 2 bedrooms, 2 bath. The cute balcony is a must, but I'd want a nice deck for the back porch. I love the wooden door and large staircase up to the door.

Mmmk. Well, that's all for now loves. I'll try to post more often.

♥ Paris

Saturday, July 18, 2009

This Ones For The Girls....

(LOVE that song!!! I'll put it at the end of this post so those of you who don't know it can listen to its awesomeness -lol-)

Ok, so ever since my mom quit going to my church (the church I grew up in) and since I finally out grew Debbie's AAAaaamazing class at that church I've been HORRIBLE at going to church I know it's bad whatev. I just haven't been able to find that connection/feeling at had at Alliance with Debbie. Since, then I've taken matters in my own hands and have done online devotionals (whenever I can I bad at remember that BUT getting better!) I know I know it's not the same but until I find that special class again it's better then nothing. The first I did was Blessing of Boldness (it's great google it now!) right now I'm doing http://www.proverbs31.org/. Which I was drawn to because it's one of my fav verses (it's the women verse).

Anyway this brings me to my topic today the devotional was about finding the "real you." And it's just something I think it's important for every woman to do. That's why I'm sharing the pray with you, in the hopes you'll get something out of it.

"Lord, I want to know the woman You had in mind when You created me. I don't want to grow old and never know Your purpose for my life. Show me your dreams for my life so I can offer what You want to give to those around me through my unique desires, personality strengths, spiritual gifts, abilities and experiences. In Jesus' Name, Amen."

I just LOVE it sucha a great message! On a kinda related note...as I was writing this post and thinking about Debbie I remember an idea that God pops into my head every once in awhile--"I want to do that. I want to one day be able to do for other girls what Debbie did for me and so many of the other girls who was in that class with me." I don't know when it will happen I just know one day when it's time it will happen and I honestly can't wait!

Alright time for bed. Tonight me and bells are going to fall asleep watching Wall-E = )

♥ B

Monday, July 13, 2009

If My Body Is A Temple Then I'm Going To Make Sure I Have A Pretty One...

Ok, I'm kinda addicted to tattoo's yeah whatev at least I can admit it! -lol- So, I'm going to use this post to talk about the next ones I'm dying to get.....

1.) "Aloha-oe, aloha-oe, One fond embrace, Until we meet again" on my shoulder blade -- the reason is private

2.) the word "balance" in white ink on my right inner wirst-- this is to remind me that everything in life should happen in balance. I'm also hoping that it will work as a good luck charm to keep me from being cluzty -lol- even thought that tres tres trendy right now = P

3.) an outline of a Plesiosaur
on the top side of my left foot. -- for Nessie and my fav dino

Without the stupid lines, eyes, mouth but you get the picture

Those are my plans at the moment...... Now, I'm going to bed cause I'm an old women and have to get up at ungodly hours of the morning....blah!!!!!!

♥ B

p.s. BF I was about to say "ha ha this is the third post in a row that doesn't have anything to do with Twilight =P" but then I realized I made a Bella ref in #2....fuck! -lol-

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Here's To The KaKaKaties!

"The truth is you could slit my throat And with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt"

I listened to that song for the first time in a long while and the only thing I could think of while I was singing at the top of my lungs (-lol-) was "woah, I always said that lyric was how I felt about Eeyore" and looking back on it my only emotion over the whole thing was "Wow how pathetic" I just can't believe that I ever felt that way.

This then reminded me of my ALL time fav episode of Sex In The City. The one where Carrie finally has an epiphany about her and Mr. Big's relationship. Those of you who know me know that I have my own Mr. Big whom I like to refer to as Eeyore (long story). Now, when I first saw this ep I balled and balled cause it was EXACTLY how I felt but it wasn't until recently (when I was in a new relationship) that I was able to take the advice I learned from Carrie (who has helped me though a LOT I don't care how crazy that sounds -lol-) I was finally able to let go of all those hostile feeling towards Eeyore. And it feels Aaamazing! I'm able see the error of my past ways. Some people just aren't meant to be no matter how hard you try ('Notebook' romances should be left to the romance novels). It's not really anyone's fault, it's a simple matter of you just don't work. You're almost soulmates, not true soulmates. But I'm glad that I had in in my life because with out him I'd never realize that sometimes what you think is your fairytale ending is really just a step to that ending.

From now on I choose to remember the good times we had and if I ever see him again I'd simply say "Your girl is lovely Hubble." Then go in peace.

As far as the last line in the ep. (The one that's been my personal mantra since I heard it YEARS ago)...Us katies/carries/wild horse aren't meant to be tamed but we are also not meant to run 100% wild our whole lives (that's just exhausting) what we need to find is someone who will let us have balance in our lives.

So, here's to us free spirits and to the hope that all of you are able to find the person that helps to put balance to your life.

♥ B

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Can you say mini-vaca?

Okay, so I'm a little...make that a lot...sore from working out today. I wasn't sore this morning, but after I went running today --ouch! I thought it would probably be a good idea to start working out again. And I do feel better, but geez, I forgot how sore muscles feel. So not fun!

OMG, I totally want to go be a Greek God! I'll dress up! It sounds like sooo much fun. We can be drunk and dig for treasure, and search for the Holy Grail. Mini-Vaca time!

These past few weekends have been really rough. I've been so busy, and I do not want to do anything this weekend. So, I have vowed for no plans, but the over-packed schedule continues next weekend with a baby shower, and family reunion. Ugh. Summer is for relaxing loves. What's with all the plans?

I miss my BFF!!! I haven't seen you in forever. I'm glad that nothing is seriously wrong, and I hope you start feeling better soon! Love you! XOXO

♥ Penelope